Valdemar Malin | Cicadas and Millennials — Interview with Nature

Your Majesty! I am going to the pharmacy to pick up your medications. I will be back soon.”

I open my eyes. My wife is standing over me. She is smiling and tapping me on the shoulder. “Don’t get up until I return!”

“Thank you, your Majesty!” I wheeze playing along. (We are playing such games for more than 50 years).

The door closes. It is quiet and dark in my bedroom. I keep dosing in bed listening to the dull, nap-provoking local TV news.

“Soon, we will witness a natural wonder — an invasion of periodical cicadas,” a muffled voice of a TV presenter is coming from afar. “In North America, these insects appear every 17 years! The adult cicadas of this generation called Brood X will emerge in 15 states in May 2021 — only two months from now. They are the offspring of the previous generation (their parents) born in 1987.”

“Great! Now the invasion of cicadas as if the coronavirus is not enough. Generations, parents, offspring — it may look like they are talking about humans, not insects. But do cicadas look like normal insects? They needs 17 years to become adults almost as humans do. And their age generations are classified very close to those of humans too.

Really! The current human youngsters (called Generation Z or Zillennials) were born in the period from 1997 to 2012, while the cicadas of Brood X emerging in 2021 were born in 2004 (17 years ago) — right in the middle of Gen Z range. So, they can be called cicadas-zillennials too, by analogy.

Similarly, the parents of human Zillennials (called Gen Y or millennials) were born in the period from 1981 to 1996, while the parents of cicada-zillennials emerged in 2004, were born in 1987. Those cicadas can claim to be cicadas-millennials, by analogy too!

Oh, I am fantasizing, again! So what! I have long been suspecting that a fantasy is, in fact, the backside of reality. Still, there is something eerie about an insect growing up underground for 17 years. Even scientists don’t know what they are doing there for so long! Then who knows?

Who knows? Nature knows! What if I ask Her Majesty Nature to grant me an interview — face to face! Nature has always been kind and responsive to Man answering many questions asked by curious human minds.

As soon as this thought crossed my mind, the walls of my living room suddenly disappeared. And what a miracle! Here I am standing at the office of her Majesty Nature, the Creator of every living creature on Earth, including Man. To my surprise, the office is small and modest; no fancy furniture — just a plain table, and her Majesty is sitting at this table.

“We have no budget for luxury,” Nature says intercepting my surprise and disappointment. “Too many mouths to feed! So, let’s get to the interview, shall we!”

“What a beautiful women!” I am thinking. “But why are her face and voice so familiar to me? And her wisdom, modesty, generosity, frugality and caring!”

“Your Majesty,” I start the interview. “The best human minds are not able to comprehend the life and behavior of mysterious periodical cicadas. For example, why does it take 17 years for such tiny (less than 1 gram) insect to reach adulthood? It takes almost as long as that for a 6-ton elephant or a human!”

“Good question! Cicada, like humans, are unique in a living world. And, like humans, they are growing up in three stages.

First, mother-cicada lays her eggs in a tree limb or trunk. This tree serves as a nursery and a kindergarten for the baby-cicadas hatched in 6 to 10 weeks. They are nurtured there sucking juices generously provided by the tree.

Then the young ant-like cicadas (nymphs) drop to the ground and burrow (go to school). The nymphs stay in their underground schools feeding on watery sap provided by the roots of the tree until they finish the school. It takes them 17 years to get the knowledge and learn the practical skills needed for their survival.

Then they exit the burrows and climb high up the tree (go to college). In a day or two, they come of age, shed their immature outer shell and get their wings.

After the graduation, cicadas turn into responsible adults and pass their knowledge and skills to a new generation. Their mission is accomplished, and so is their short adult life — adult cicadas live for only 4-6 weeks.”

“Your Majesty, forgive me my bluntness. Why do we need cicadas, at all? They are lazy, ungrateful and useless free loaders! And ugly!

I used to have these cicada-millennials in my back yard in the suburb of Chicago many years ago. And I was disgusted. These lazy bums were sitting for days doing nothing, except throwing tantrums from the tree tops every day.”

“That’s a mistake! Cicadas are not lazy. They work hard tirelessly digging deep burrows in hard soil to make homes; drilling tunnels to ventilate them and building exit-chimneys out of soil over their burrows and do other things. They never sit doing nothing, they are constantly seeking roots in the soil to feed on their juices and sustain themselves. They are orphans so parents can’t help them. They rely only on themselves.”

“But they are useless free loaders! Other insects pollinate flowers or produce honey. But cicadas seem to have no purpose in life, except to get laid and die damaging the trees and their roots on their way out.”

“Oh, this is a deep-rooted misconception! Cicadas bring more benefits than harm to trees and forests. They prune adult trees getting rid of excessive branches. Do the grass eaters damage grass? No, the grass grows better. So are the trees.

It’s true that the young trees may suffer, but not the forest. Excessive tree density hurts forests more. As for the young trees in your back yard, they may be hurt. Sorry, Nature has to take care of the forests, first!

Also, cicadas can damage some roots of the tree, but not its root system. Just the opposite, they aerate the soil around the roots to help them grow.

But there is more. Cicadas serve as food and protein sources for countless birds and other bug-eaters helping them to survive. Humans eat them too. Try fried cicadas sometimes.

As for a purpose in life, it’s the people who are driven by lust, while cicadas follow the call of Nature to preserve, promote and continue Life! After all, Nature gave them generously so much!”

“Then why are they so ungrateful? They enjoy carefree living getting free shelter in trees and free sap from them and their roots. But what do cicadas give back to their benefactors? Nothing!”

“Not true! Cicadas repay their benefactors in full when they die — they supply nitrogen and other nutrients to the roots of those trees. Nothing is wasted in nature!”

“Your Majesty, if cicadas are such noble insects, why did you create them so ugly? It’s not fair, especially when people compare them with their darlings — butterflies!”

“Ugly? All creatures, big and small, are created beautiful in their own ways by Nature! The notion of ugliness created by a sophisticated human mind! Nature has no pets! Cicadas emerge in billions, and every one of them is beautiful in the eyes of Nature!”

“Billions? Now I understand why they make such deafening noise reaching up to 120 decibel. Follow the call of Nature if you wish, but don’t yell so loudly? Is this a demonstration of protest? Are they demanding something for themselves?”

“At first, this is not a demonstration of protest, and cicadas do not demand free burrows, juices, roots or anything else for themselves.”

And secondly, this is not noise, and they are not yelling! It’s a male choir that follows synchronously the rhythms of an invisible conductor. They are singing about love dreaming to conquer the hearts of their mates. It’s such a pity you can’t understand this beautiful music performed by professionals with a wide repertoire.”

Nature winks at me smiling mysteriously (why is this mischievous smile so familiar to me?) and asks,

“Didn’t you sing once upon a time for your beautiful wife-to-be to charm her heart? Didn’t you dream to soar high and fly far away with her on the wings of love?”

“Yes, I used to sing for her and did fly away, as you see. But how can cicadas soar high and fly far on their underdeveloped wings. What do cicadas need such useless wings for?|”

“You see Nature never does anything useless, as your wise philosopher Aristotle noticed millennia ago. It’s a waste of resources to make perfect wings for cicadas.

They don’t need them as much as butterflies or dragonflies do. They don’t have to soar high to catch prey — they are well-cared for. And they don’t have to fly far — everything they need is at hand, in or around that tree.

These heavy and inflexible wings are good enough for crawling on the ground or climbing up a tree; hopping from one tree to another or flying to the nearest bushes.”

Nature pauses looking at me as a teacher looks at a student who did not prepare his homework.

“You described to me the behavior of cicada-millennials as it looks in the eyes of a human. But the potentials of human mind is grossly overestimated. It’s unable to comprehend the purpose of Nature.

Now, let me describe how the behavior of human millennials and their offspring Zillennials looks in the eyes of Nature. Animals, insects or humans — you are all my children. I don’t take sides, but I’ll be blunt.

Let’s start with education. You may consider it a unique coincidence, but human millennials (like cicadas) are schooled in three stages and for 17 years also moving from kindergarten, through school to college. But the result is quite different.

In the government-controlled education system, they are taught to care for others, rather than for themselves, and to give away to others what belongs to them and earned by them. In exchange, they expect to live in an imagined, idealistic world in which they hope to be taken care of by someone else as promised.

After graduation from “college,” adult cicadas shed their immature outer shell, but human millennials preserve their outer shell — their immature attitude to Life. Instead, they shed common sense and work ethics.

For example, while adult cicadas develop their practical survival skills, human millennials don’t. They flood the labor market with graduates having liberal arts degrees specializing in sociology, gender diversity, ethnical and racial inequality and other “liberal” skills that are inspirational, but are not what the most employers are looking for (per the US Bureau of Labor Statistics).

The “liberal” skills are easier to obtain, but they bring smaller paychecks than hard-to-crack STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) skills, which are in great demand, the gap being filled by foreigners.

Dubbed as “useless,” liberal arts degrees lead to the lack of employment, default on loans and financial difficulties. As a result, many millennials often get jobs in unrelated fields (like real estate, sales or as freelancers). Therefore, they are whining and whimpering about absence of jobs and blaming life and unfair society.

In other words, the wings of aspirations in millennials are underdeveloped too. Like cicadas — they can’t soar high and fly far.

Are millennials lazy? Let’s put it mildly, they are not exactly workaholics. Although they are the first digital and the most educated generation, they were not taught to fend for themselves or to get by on their own. They are brought up in the spirit of entitlement.

They cannot keep their jobs for long changing jobs every 3 years, on average (per Forbes). No surprise there! Many 18 to 34-year olds still live at home with their parents (per Pew Research Center).

From 1980 to February 2020 (before the CV pandemic), the number of these free-loaders increased from 32% to 47%, while 60% of them are receiving some financial help from their parents to pay for tuition, rent, groceries or bills. (Jessika Dickler, CNBC, Sept. 2020).

Unlike their parents who were ready to take any job, for millennials the perspective of going to work every day and work hard is so frightening that they are trying to delay their adulthood. Down with materialism (houses, cars, savings and other bourgeois luxuries), let’s get tattoos and body piercings, let’s travel instead of working and have a lot of fun.

Such mentality is typical for those who had secure and carefree childhood. That’s why millennials are known also as Peter Pan generation,

Do the US millennials and Zillennials appreciate all that? I doubt it! They are the most free and prosperous young generation compared to the rest of the world. But they’ve lost the sense of gratitude (unlike cicadas).

They feed on the juices of liberty and opportunity generously provided by the most prosperous society in history. But they have little appreciation for being born in the USA paying back with contempt to the values, heritage, culture and the way of life of their country.

Their lives are not filled with concerns about their welfare or with struggle for existence as their peers in other countries of the world experience every day. Therefore, they concern about the welfare of the entire world and struggle for noble causes.

They are not able to take care of themselves and cannot rely on themselves, but feel that they are able to take care of the entire humanity and want the humanity rely on them.

That’s why they want to save the world from global warming if not from climate change; from ozone depletion and carbon dioxide abundance; from coal, gas and even the gases released by…farting cows.

That’s why they demonstrate and protest noisily against just about everything and demand free stuff — houses, college education, medical care, kindergartens, guaranteed income and other not earned goodies.

Millennials are not able to adjust to reality — reality should adjust to them. Just look at Meghan Markle, the wife of Prince Garry. She was also unable to adjust to the lifestyle of the British royal family — she felt that the family had to adjust to her.

As a typical millennial (born in 1981), she got a liberal arts degree from Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois in theatre and international study. Аfter graduation, she worked in unrelated fields (as a freelance calligrapher and teaching bookbinding); and despite living now in royal luxury, she doesn’t stop complaining about life being unfair.”

I am standing speechless and stunned by such frankness and bluntness. Now I realize what I love nature so much for — for wisdom and practicality, beauty and modesty, generosity and frugality, faithfulness and loyalty, and for caring. God, why are those qualities so familiar to me?

Her Majesty notices my confusion and comes up to me smiling. She taps me on the shoulder and says,

“This is just a small part of my dossier of millennials. Sorry, but I’ve got to run — there are millions things to do. Good interview, Val!”

“Thank you, Your Majesty! I love you!” I whisper…and open my eyes. My wife was standing over me tapping me on the shoulder.

“What did you just say?” She asks me beaming with joy and happiness and kisses me on my forehead.

… I wonder who said that nothing good could come out of my fantasies!